Encounters of the Giant Alien Robot Kind
by EloraVashara
Summary: CRACK. Miko is on a walk when she runs into Knockout. Trouble and...gossip...ensue? Perhaps Knockout just needs someone to confide in, and Miko just has a girly side that needs to get out sometimes!


AN: Oh, kill me now. This is…I don't know what this is. It's crack, that's what. I don't even know how this would work, much less the information from the episodes I sort of referenced. So forgive any glaringly awful mistakes and consider it an AU, I guess. Also, just gloss over the implausibility of certain events (or just the whole thing) taking place. There was no intent here to write the characters IN-character… So flames will be use to roast delicious marshmallows! Also, if you feel like reviewing (even if just to laugh or something) feel free. I like reviews. :) Hope you enjoy it!

Encounters of the Giant Alien Robot Kind

By Elora Vashara

Miko was out for a walk around her neighborhood block, enjoying the longer hours of daylight as summer set in. She had her keys in hand and was swinging them about in time to the song on her media player. Unfortunately, they were launched off her finger mid-twirl and flew through the air in a graceful arc, only to come to a literally screeching halt when they smacked into the side of a custom red street racer. The engine grumbled lowly, and Miko felt panic begin to rise as she realized why the silver tribal markings on the doors seemed so familiar. With a gasp she turned and promptly tripped mid-stride, landing face down just past a new lamp post that wasn't anchored down properly.

"Gah, stupid, FEET!" She yelled, "Work already!" a quick scramble of limbs later she was back on her feet and about to move forward when a neighborhood dog jumped on her. Where had he come from? Whatever the answer to that question, it wasn't helping her now. It was a large dog, and with the sudden addition of its momentum against her she fell backwards into the lamp post, knocking her head against the still-hollow metal rod.

"Oww…" she groaned, pushing the over enthusiastic dog away from her as she slumped to the ground. "Get. Away." Miko growled lowly at the animal, and when it looked hesitant about the order she added, "NOW!" With a dejected expression, the hound slunk off to its yard. The sound of metal sliding smoothly across itself caught her attention as she realized Knockout was still behind her. She pushed herself to her feet and decided running wasn't going to get her anywhere at this point.

"You filthy human _brat_!" came the Decepticon's rich voice. "Look what you've done! I _just_ finished buffing this out, and you couldn't respect that could you? Nooo, of course not, you're that wretched little human the Autobot Bulkhead drags around. So what, you thought you'd score a point for the team by _scratching my paint_? Eh? I should just crush you right now."

As Knockout ranted at her, Miko was becoming increasingly distracted by the groaning noises coming from the lamp post next to her. And mid rant, a gust of wind pushed just that much more, and the post fell onto the Decepticon medic, clanging noisily against the arm he thrust up to protect himself. It left a minor dent and large scrape on the formerly immaculate paint.

"Ehh, not my fault?" Miko tried her best puppy-dog eyes on the suddenly silent mech. At his glare, she decided to try and smooth things out a little. "Look, I'm really sorry about the key thing, I just wasn't paying attention, you know, there's not usually Decepticons around my neighborhood, it just doesn't really happen, you know? But I'm really sorry about the keys. And the lamp post. That was entirely unintentional."

He'd shifted slightly and was still scrutinizing her with a hard gaze so she figured she should keep talking. He wasn't smashing her yet, right? "And, you know, I can totally sympathize with you!"

He seemed to brighten slightly at that, optics narrowed not in disgust but in intrigue.

"Because there was this one time, I had just bought a new skirt that I looked fabulous in, you know? You try it on and you just _know_ that you have to have it because you look amazing." He was nodding now, bending over slightly as he was pulled in by the story. "And so," she continued, "I brought it home and hung it up nicely so it wouldn't get wrinkled or dirty, and I had my outfit for the next day all figured out! It was going to look great! But when I went on my evening walk, like today, this random skater dude ran into me and knocked me to the ground. I scraped both my knees really badly, and I was so upset because I couldn't wear my skirt then! They were all gross and bleeding and sore, and when I got home I had to clean them up and put these big ugly bandages on them. And once they scabbed over I _still_ couldn't wear my skirt because I had purple bruises all around the big ugly scabs. It was weeks before I could actually wear it. So I can kinda relate."

"Yeah, I can understand that," Knockout nodded and slowly sat down on the pavement, crossing his legs. "You know, after that whole energon harvester fiasco, co-Lord Starscream took his anger out on me. Scratches everywhere! And they were so deep regular buffing wouldn't get them out. I had to strip off my _entire_ paintjob and redo it!"

"No!" Miko protested, "Really?"

"Really. It was a good thing I had Breakdown to help me out or I would've been working on it for a whole Earth month! As it was it took me nearly two weeks to get everything right." Knockout had cooled down from his previous anger and was starting to get into the swing of the conversation.

"Wow," Miko peered at him, looking over his paint, "I can't tell! You did an amazing job redoing all that work." She beamed up at him and was rewarded with a smile.

"Thanks," he purred, "You know, I rather like your, er…" He gestured towards her head. "You know, the fuzzy stuff you humans have on your heads."

"Oh, you mean hair?"

"Yes, hair. I like your…hairstyle. The color combination is quite nice, it goes well with your general complexion."

"Thanks," Miko touched her hair self-consciously. "So, have you ever tried something different?"

Knockout peered at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, have you ever had a different paint job?" She didn't even know if Cybertronians could do that, since she'd zoned out during most of Ratchet's lectures.

"Oh, well, yes. This one, which I rather like, is particular to your planet. Before it I had something similar, but it was a different shade of red, you know, and it was quite plain. Just not me."

"Definitely," she agreed, nodding her head, "That shade is totally you, and the designs keep it interesting."

"Yes, you people do love your automobiles. There are some very creative paint jobs out there, I may try a few out someday. Of course, there are some completely awful paint jobs as well."

"I know what you mean," Miko grinned, "There's this one girl at my school—she's kinda rich, so sometimes she gets designer clothing. Anyways, she wore this dress… It was orange and frilly and ended up making her look like a fluorescent lump. I swear it would have looked better on anyone else, but on her? No way."

The two continued to gossip until Miko realized it was starting to get dark out and she should get back to her host parent's house.

"Oh, Knockout, sorry but I gotta go. Curfew and all."

"Sure, sure, I'll see you around then."

"Ah, and I really am sorry about the key thing. You seem like a decent mech."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'll get it buffed out in no time. It was nice to talk to someone who understands for a change." He grinned at her, plucked her keys off the sidewalk and held them out. "Don't forget these now."

"Ah, thanks," Miko slid the proffered keys off the tip of one clawed fingertip.

And with that, the two were both on their separate ways home.

FIN

AN: Uh, review if you want…?


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